Jasmine Hart

Hi, I enjoyed the couplet format here. "Cloudy excuses/mild muses" was great and the final couplet was very effective. "It's" in the title should be "Its" as you do not ...

Hi, I really enjoyed this. It made me smile and the tone and rhyme work very well. I especially enjoyed the opening couplet and "It's really too bad you taste ...

Hi Kylan, I really should stop reading you because it makes me too jealous. The opening lines drew me in straight away and I loved "like an ear reversed". I ...

The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd and The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery.

THEME: Your story is about a dentist in New York kissing in dreams. New York was not the place for me. I never should have gone there. My life was ...

Hi, This was really fun. The rhyme complimented the piece nicely and the imagery was great. The originality of the first line really drew me in. A famous writer told ...

Hi, Haha this was really great! It made me smile. Your tone is perfect. The final isolated couplet worked really well. I especially enjoyed the first line. It really drew ...

Hey Penguin, Totally just giggling to myself here. I really enjoyed this, very funny and well-written as everything else you write. It unfolds nicely and the tone is perfect. I ...

Hi, Your imagery was wonderful. I could really feel it. The first line really drew me in. The third stanza was especially powerful and vivid. I like how it gently ...

Hi, This was lovely. The imagery was good and the sound of the piece works well. I'd cut the first comma because you don't need it - the line break ...

Hi, I really enjoyed reading this. You use language and imagery very well. The first two lines really drew me in and the tension throughout this stanza is very effective. ...

Hi, I enjoyed the couplets here, especially the sixth one. I'd take another look at couplets four, five and seven, and work in the slant rhyme here too rather than ...

Hi, You handle the form well. You use language well, and have some beautiful lines like: "For she is my season – my age of youth My return to love, ...

Hi, The rhyme pattern works well here and the shift in the final stanza is especially effective, as is your use of italics. I only have very minor suggestions. I'd ...

Hi, Your imagery is really great. I love your use of colour. I especially enjoyed "covered with freckles", "toe nibblers", and "wet pink lines." I'd change "chills to the bone" ...